The stressor that I chose for this week is violence. My mother grew up in a home with domestic violence. This was a huge stressor for her and her sister. Every night they lived in fear of the horrific fighting between their parents and many times, they left the house in the middle of the night running to a neighbors house. They did not cope with this stress very well. No one was there to help them and no one spoke of it. They had to wait until they were old enough to move out of the house before any relief came to them. The effects of the violence has stayed with them and it is something that to this day, hurts when they talk about it.
My mother has written a book about it. It is called "Do it for the children" and it discusses her life growing up in a home with domestic violence and how it effects children. I think that this book is both my mothers way of helping to educate others but it is also her way of healing.
I chose to look up stressors that children in Afghanistan face. I found it hard to find information but this just motivated me more to find something. I learned that many (about half) of afghani children do not have an education. Many of them are forced to work in the streets. Savethechildren.org states that 1 in 4 children die before their 5th birthday from things that could have been prevented and from malnutrition. Afghani children suffer from one of the highest levels of maluntrition.
Save the children is working to help children in Afghanistan. They are trying to cut down on malnutrition, healthy and safety and many other needed areas.
Here is the website in case anyone is interested: http://www.savethechildren.org/site/c.8rKLIXMGIpI4E/b.6150517/k.8737/Afghanistan.htm
Christina,
ReplyDeleteI can't begin to imagine what your mother must have experienced as child growing up in such a situation. It is really unfortunate that your Mom and her sister were not able to get out of the situation earlier and didn't receive any support or help to cope. In what ways do you think exposure to such violence as a child affects an individual as an adult in their own relationships, how they raise their children etc. What changes are needed to better support children involved in domestic violence situations. I remember reading recently that a question doctors may begin asking patients is how about their home situation in an effort to identify situations of domestic violence.
Hi Keshika,
DeleteI think that exposure to domestic violence does have an effect on adult relationships. Sometimes I see that communication is hard. From my experience at a DV shelter, I see that many of the women get "stuck" in a sort of cycle. Their parents were in DV relationships and they are not sure how they ended up in the same situation.
I think it is vital to get help for children who are in such situations. They need to be able to talk about it and get it out. They need to know that it is not their fault( a lot of times, they blame themselves). They also need to learn what a healthy relationship looks like even if it is just a relationship between friends. I think that the best thing we can do is to prevent it from happening in the first place. If we can educate children on healthy relationships, maybe we can stop the cycle of domestic abuse.
Christina,
ReplyDeleteYour mother sounds like a very brave woman who was able to overcome the environment that she grew up in. I think that it is so inspiring that she wrote a book about her experiences. That was probably very therapeutic for her. If you don't mind me asking, are either of her parents still alive? If so, does she have any sort of relationship with them?
Melissa
(Group 1)
Hi Melissa,
DeleteI dont mind at all! My mothers mother is alive and they have a pretty good relationship. My grandmother changed her life around and her and my mom are doing well.
Hi Christina, Thank you for sharing your story. It is very sad what some of our children and families are living through each day. We can only hope that in our work we are making a difference by helping our children with their self-esteem and teaching them to be strong, caring and aware of their choices. Did your mom publish her book? I would be interested in reading it if it's available. I think you are right in your thoughts that it helped her heal by putting it on paper. Thank you once again. Cindy Ferguson
ReplyDeleteHi Cindy,
DeleteShe did publish her book! You can get it online from Tate Publishing (no relation lol) or on amazon as well. :)
I hope the war in Afghanistan would end for the sake of the children. Any war for that sake.I think wars have an negative impact on children's nutrition.
ReplyDeleteI am sadden to hear your mother experienced violence as a child in her house hold. But I am so happy to hear she wrote a book and is healing. I ran into the same issue you did when looking up children in other cultures. I too discovered that 50% of India's children between age 6 and 14 do not attend school. Although I wrote about having a stressor, mines is senseless compared to the children of India. Take care!
ReplyDelete